22 weeks

Hola, world! It’s me, pregnant Jennifer. I am now officially 22 weeks along with Baby Girl, and she’s doing great and I’m feeling good.

She kicks me often enough, and I am definitely unquestionably pregnant looking. She’s very polite and usually waits to kick me until I’m in the middle of something, like trying to sleep. She wants to say hi, you see.

I had a great midwife appointment yesterday, in which I was informed I’ve gained 10 pounds in 5 weeks. Um. Whoah. That seems….like a lot. No one is worried about how I am doing (that’s only 18 pounds total in 22 weeks), and I don’t care about how I look, per say, my concern is not having a home birth with a 12 pound baby. I need to work very vigilantly to be as healthy as I can.

Turn it off, then back on.

Resetting is so helpful. In so many settings. I work in IT, and the joke is I often fix a lot of things by turning them off and then back on again.

Sometimes in order to function, stuff just needs a break. I use my phone all the time, for everything, and I can tell you it works better when I turn the poor thing off at night every now and then.

I work 40 hours a week, and am occasionally on call on weekends. I have two toddlers, I have a husband who likes to occasionally leave the house. Food is constantly needing to be bought, sleep needs to be had (by someone), a baby is being made (constantly.)

I find myself at night, usually right when I put the boys down, laying on the sofa exhausted. I have a studio full of art I’d like to work on, a gym membership collecting dust, a Bible I’d like to find, then read. (Don’t judge, I have a bible app on my phone too.)

Believe it or not lying on the sofa at night does not recharge me. Even though it happens less than I’d like, it’s the nights I drag my carcass to my studio/bible/exercise that I feel best. I’m not saying DOING is always best, but that dedicated time to something in which you find joy is often a lot more restful for your spirit than laying on a flat surface playing Bejeweled Blitz on your iphone until your eyes are blood shot.

I’m lazy by nature. I like laying around all day and doing nothing. At least I vaguely remember laying around all day doing nothing and liking it alot. But that’s not the best way to rest. Find a new way to turn off, to rest, to replenish, and I’ll bet you feel a lot better when it’s time to be on again.

Thoughts on Having a Girl

I’ve watched friends have girls, obviously. I AM a girl, clearly. But I’ve never RAISED a girl.

Will there be more or less drama? Experienced mom’s of both sons and daughters tell me that boys are far more whiney. I thought the opposite would be true.

I wonder what kind of stuff she’ll be into, with two older brothers. Trucks? Barbies driving trucks? Tea parties or mud pies? Both?

I grew up in a house of all girls. We were just as into dancing in the rain as we were dancing in our dress up clothes.

Part of me feels disloyal to my boys, being so excited about a girl. I was excited for boys too, but this time I feel like it’s a whole new adventure, all over again. Not just another child but a GIRL one. I’ve never put a dress on one of my children before. (Headbands yes, dress no, and the headband was at his request.)

21 Weeks Tomorrow

Ok so I’ve been terrible at this updating thing. That’s the downside to being in front of a computer all day: when you get home, you don’t want to sit in front of the computer.

Morning sickness died down right around week 16, praise the Lord, and I can now eat with enjoyment again, instead of just stuffing food in my face and hoping it stayed there.

I made it through the entire bout of morning sickness without throwing up once, and I attribute it to this:

I’m having a girl!

I am pointing at her nose, to orient those of you that think all ultrasound pictures look like squirrels. I noticed the other night while Riker was asleep that her and his profile are almost identical. I just can’t wait to meet her!

And if having girls means I don’t puke, I want to have girls forever.

My mom got to be here for the ultrasound, and when the tech said, “so, you have two boys?” I thought, here it comes, boy number 3! But then she said, “you’re having a girl.” and both mom and I burst into tears. I would have loved another boy, but I honestly thought I’d never get to have a daughter.

I am so excited for dress up clothes and tea parties and all that fun stuff I haven’t experienced yet. I can hardly wait!

First Look at Baby #3

Today fried chicken is the best thing ever. I feel a little queasy, but it’s like having a pit in my stomach all the time. It’s manageable.

Yesterday I got the see the tiny bean! In this picture, I am pointing to the head end, and then it curves back to where there will be legs soon! You can’t hear the heart beat this early, but I sure could see it fluttering! Great heart tones and all. That’s my baby! Modern medicine is really amazing. And baby really does look exactly like a lima bean right now, at 7.5 weeks. I swear he/she waved an arm nubbin at me. Or maybe it was a tail flick?

But all is well, and we confirmed my due date is December 26th. With my insurance deductible starting over on January 1st, it’s pretty imperative I get this kid birthed in 2012. Please pray for me, as Aaron and I are looking at the finances and trusting yet again that the Lord will pull us through.

He is a good provider. The best provider, and I’m so glad He has a plan.

In other news, Caden and Riker, when asked if they’d like a baby brother, or sister, vaccilate between saying “no thank you” and “baby sister” and “baby brother.” So who knows, at this point.

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day was just lovely. I awoke to my screaming children, as I do every day, and remind myself that at least I’m not the one who has to blast out of bed to attend them. Aaron does that, for which I am exceedingly grateful, over and over.

Aaron brought me three flowers this year, lovely orange roses that I love. The boys don’t quite understand how to sniff a flower, though they gave it a good shot.

We packed up the boys and took them over to Loose Park, which has all the cool toys. I even convinced them it would be fun to run through the botanical gardens and look at the fountain. Caden was enthused, right up to the point when he realized he couldn’t actually touch any of the water. Tres disappointment for the Squeaker.

Blessed Relief, or, Why I Adore My Chiropractor

Pregnancy brings on debilitating nausea for me. I don’t throw up, but for some reason it’s almost worse. I just feel incredibly motion sick, with a vomity pit in my stomach, all day, every day. And, all night. The other night I woke up for some reason or another, and felt beyond swirly, like I was falling, but also had the flu. I was just crying to Jesus for an answer, having no idea how on earth I would function, much less go to my job and function, if I stayed this sick.

 Before you start, no, I don’t take medications when I’m pregnant. Especially since the only anti nausea drug prescribed to pregnant women is a class B drug meant for chemo patients. Class B means it’s never killed any animals, but it’s never been tested on human beings for birth defects or harm to mothers. Lots of women take it, but I can’t justify it for myself, or my little one.

Night Lights

Last night, the unthinkable happened. The night light in the boys room stopped working. I knew this was happening, because Caden sensed something was not right in his Universe. He let me know it was so, by saying, “oh no mommy! oh no!” and moaning. I went in, tried to fix the night light. No dice. I tried to plug in a lamp and hide it behind the dresser so it wasn’t so bright. Caden cried out, “that one! that one! that one!” while pointing to the two dead night lights on the dresser. I unplugged the lamp, and tried to fix one of our old night lights.

Caden, who’s beside himself despite my best efforts, keeps saying “yay mommy, you did it!” every time I tried to show him that it was broken. He’s very optimistic, even over broken lights.

Tight.

A bevy of helpful friends have pointed out that with every subsequent child, you “show” earlier. This is not helpful advice. At this rate, if I have another kid, I’ll be showing a month before I’m pregnant.

Maybe I’ll find out it’s twins, and then I won’t have to feel bad about the fact that I’m 5 weeks pregnant and my work-pants are already too tight. I associate the feeling of tight pants with failure. So it’s time to change my mental perspective and gear up for 10 months of going “wow, this bump is big.”

I feel more motivated to blog now that I’m pregnant. I have such great records of my pregnancies with the boys, because I was home, and could blog while they slept. Now that I work full time, my nights are for other things. Playing with them, helping Aaron, painting, or my personal favorite, lying on the couch and doing nothing.

I’m a little sick in the mornings this time around, but nothing to write home about. Just a little gross feeling, and then around 11 it passes. Last night I almost put a shiv to Aaron and made him go buy me popcorn because I HAD TO HAVE IT. Instead, he sequestered himself in his darkroom and I ate chips and guac. And also some icecream.

I know I have a long time to figure it out, but I am still debating homebirth vs birth center vs hospital. Here are my lists of initial pros and cons for all of the above.

I lean towards birth center for the following simple reaons: that level of pain needs focus, and I don’t know if I can focus and be near the boys. 2) I don’t want to clean up after that. 3) I don’t want to be woken up every 2 hours at the hospital.

I lean towards homebirth: it’s my own stuff, and I don’t have to labor in the car. I can sleep in my own bed. Birth tub.

Hospital: One word. Anethesiologist. I will not make it through another labor like Riker’s without an epidural. I just can’t do that level of pain for that long. I am a little afraid to not have ready access to drugs. I felt a little alone last time, in my pain management. I’m sure I wasn’t. I’m sure there were people there who wanted to help, but I didn’t feel helped much, honestly. The hospital transfer threw everything and everyone out of whack. Midwives had to defer to doctors, I had to be on monitors, it’s a long story. By that time I was so desperate for sleep I didn’t know what to do, I was progressing so slowly and being on my back on monitors was THE WORST.

I have not forgotten the pain. I’m also trying not to focus on it too much. I have a long way to go until then, and I’m sure it will work out.

First prenatal appointment is tomorrow, even though I’ve not yet decided on midwives or where to give birth. This is my third rodeo, I don’t need to over think it just yet.

Countdown to baby: 242 days.

You’ll Never Guess!

One of my favorite things about this blog is the ability to go back and read my own excitement over big life things, like, you’ll never guess, new baby!

 

We are very excited to welcome this new little one. Of course, everyone we know is holding their breath to see if it’s a girl, or another fantastic boy. It would definitely be fun to see what a little girl would be like, but I love me some boys too. I have to admit, I’ll be waiting with baited breath for my mid pregnancy ultrasound. I will be ingesting snickers and a coke as I go into guarantee no one hides their bits from the camera!

I was so excited to get that positive pregnancy test, and I got a really early positive, which was fun. I showed it to Aaron as he was making breakfast for the boys, and we squeed! Babies are just the best.

So far I’m not feeling morning sickness worth writing home about. Just a little yuck in the mornings and evenings. Not even enough to slow me down from eating, which is great. I’m praying it continues that way!

My friend Char posted a comment on facebook when I shared the picture of the test, saying “congrats, being 5 is the best.” That’s when I realized- wow. There are going to be five of us!

Next Baby James is due end of December First week of January!

I think I need a mini van.