Night Lights

Last night, the unthinkable happened. The night light in the boys room stopped working. I knew this was happening, because Caden sensed something was not right in his Universe. He let me know it was so, by saying, “oh no mommy! oh no!” and moaning. I went in, tried to fix the night light. No dice. I tried to plug in a lamp and hide it behind the dresser so it wasn’t so bright. Caden cried out, “that one! that one! that one!” while pointing to the two dead night lights on the dresser. I unplugged the lamp, and tried to fix one of our old night lights.

Caden, who’s beside himself despite my best efforts, keeps saying “yay mommy, you did it!” every time I tried to show him that it was broken. He’s very optimistic, even over broken lights. Continue reading

Tight.

A bevy of helpful friends have pointed out that with every subsequent child, you “show” earlier. This is not helpful advice. At this rate, if I have another kid, I’ll be showing a month before I’m pregnant.

Maybe I’ll find out it’s twins, and then I won’t have to feel bad about the fact that I’m 5 weeks pregnant and my work-pants are already too tight. I associate the feeling of tight pants with failure. So it’s time to change my mental perspective and gear up for 10 months of going “wow, this bump is big.”

I feel more motivated to blog now that I’m pregnant. I have such great records of my pregnancies with the boys, because I was home, and could blog while they slept. Now that I work full time, my nights are for other things. Playing with them, helping Aaron, painting, or my personal favorite, lying on the couch and doing nothing.

I’m a little sick in the mornings this time around, but nothing to write home about. Just a little gross feeling, and then around 11 it passes. Last night I almost put a shiv to Aaron and made him go buy me popcorn because I HAD TO HAVE IT. Instead, he sequestered himself in his darkroom and I ate chips and guac. And also some icecream.

I know I have a long time to figure it out, but I am still debating homebirth vs birth center vs hospital. Here are my lists of initial pros and cons for all of the above.

I lean towards birth center for the following simple reaons: that level of pain needs focus, and I don’t know if I can focus and be near the boys. 2) I don’t want to clean up after that. 3) I don’t want to be woken up every 2 hours at the hospital.

I lean towards homebirth: it’s my own stuff, and I don’t have to labor in the car. I can sleep in my own bed. Birth tub.

Hospital: One word. Anethesiologist. I will not make it through another labor like Riker’s without an epidural. I just can’t do that level of pain for that long. I am a little afraid to not have ready access to drugs. I felt a little alone last time, in my pain management. I’m sure I wasn’t. I’m sure there were people there who wanted to help, but I didn’t feel helped much, honestly. The hospital transfer threw everything and everyone out of whack. Midwives had to defer to doctors, I had to be on monitors, it’s a long story. By that time I was so desperate for sleep I didn’t know what to do, I was progressing so slowly and being on my back on monitors was THE WORST.

I have not forgotten the pain. I’m also trying not to focus on it too much. I have a long way to go until then, and I’m sure it will work out.

First prenatal appointment is tomorrow, even though I’ve not yet decided on midwives or where to give birth. This is my third rodeo, I don’t need to over think it just yet.

Countdown to baby: 242 days.

You’ll Never Guess!

One of my favorite things about this blog is the ability to go back and read my own excitement over big life things, like, you’ll never guess, new baby!

 

We are very excited to welcome this new little one. Of course, everyone we know is holding their breath to see if it’s a girl, or another fantastic boy. It would definitely be fun to see what a little girl would be like, but I love me some boys too. I have to admit, I’ll be waiting with baited breath for my mid pregnancy ultrasound. I will be ingesting snickers and a coke as I go into guarantee no one hides their bits from the camera!

I was so excited to get that positive pregnancy test, and I got a really early positive, which was fun. I showed it to Aaron as he was making breakfast for the boys, and we squeed! Babies are just the best.

So far I’m not feeling morning sickness worth writing home about. Just a little yuck in the mornings and evenings. Not even enough to slow me down from eating, which is great. I’m praying it continues that way!

My friend Char posted a comment on facebook when I shared the picture of the test, saying “congrats, being 5 is the best.” That’s when I realized- wow. There are going to be five of us!

Next Baby James is due end of December First week of January!

I think I need a mini van.

The Biggest Blog Cliche

When you often go a long time between blog posts, it’s easy to fall into the worlds largest blog cliche: blogging about how long it’s been since you’ve blogged.

I’m not going to do that. One simple look at the calendar can tell you, it’s been a long time.

Work has been workish. I work, then I come home and make my lunch and go to sleep. At that point, I get up and work again. It’s a paycheck I’m very thankful for.

I should be painting right now, as I have many projects loaded up and need to get them finished. But I feel lazy and can’t stop myself from laying on my couch and playing Draw Something until my fingers bleed.

I often wonder what it would be like if we shut down every device in this house. The tv, computer, ipad, phones, for just one day.

Dante described the capital of Hell as this: Pandemonium; a place with so much chaos and screaming that it crippled you.

That’s what my house would be like if we shut down the electronics.

Things are really happening for the James family. Like always, we make a significant decision in our lives, and doors fly open like the cabinet scene from the Sixth Sense. It’s thrilling and terrifying all at once. We are taking baby steps, trying not to freak out on each other, and breathing as often as we can remember how.

I spent today watching my sons scoop water out of a plastic pool and pour it on a) the concrete b)the bushes c)themselves d) eachother and e)me. All of the above was precious and wonderful. I can hardly believe how big they are getting. I would have taken a picture to show you, but that would mean I’d have to put down my book.

Tomorrow promises for more beautiful, unseasonably warm weather. Perhaps a trip to the park is in order?

Riker turns 2 in not too many weeks. I thought I just had him?

Time flies when you’re having fun.

Stay at Home Extrovert

Most days the closest I get to an intellectual conversation is responding to questions like “Elmo?” and “whatisthis?” and I frequently find myself uttering the phrase “where did Riker go?” Jennifer, on the other hand, spends 8 hours per day on the phone and interacting with people in an office. The irony is that I am an extrovert and Jennifer is an introvert.

Most of the time Jennifer walks in the door and I want to unload every clever, witty idea that has popped into my head in the nine hours prior. I want to relay all the events of the day and receive a response that doesn’t begin with the words “me want.” I can always tell in the first couple of sentences whether she has had a fairly easy day or if she has had to be on the phone an exceptional amount. I see that glazed look in her eye that says “I really want to be interested in the things you are saying but I have zero gas left in my human interaction tank.”

I understand that. At that point she wants nothing more than a plate of food, a book and five minutes where nothing is required of her. That’s how she recharges.

I, however, am an extrovert. I love being out and around people. It’s how I recharge and it’s been a bit of a challenge adjusting to life that mostly consists of four walls and two toddlers. I’m grateful for social networking, it reminds me there is still a world out there.

I’ve also found that my social skills start to slip when I don’t interact with others very often. A couple months ago I went to watch a UFC fight with a group of guys, most of whom I’d never met before and I actually felt a little nervous beforehand. I can’t remember feeling unconfident about entering a social situation since high school (where I felt VERY unconfident about social situations).

I should say that this post isn’t a cry for help and I certainly don’t pace around the house like a caged tiger all day. I do enjoy being home with the boys. We have just had to work to to find a balance to life. We are learning to juggle our weekends so that I can get out enough to still feel connected to the rest of humanity and staying in enough so that Jennifer doesn’t spend her week in an overstimulated haze.

Catch Up

So Many things have happened since I last blogged. Life has been IN sane, and also I found a coffee shop within short driving distance of my work. Instead of blogging on my lunch break, I’ve been driving to latte land and listening to parks and rec reruns on my phone whilst crocheting, instead of updating the ol’ bloggy blog.

Tomorrow is my 28th birthday. I thought for 5 minutes it was the 29th birthday for me, but Aaron, who can do math, pointed out that 2012-1984 is 27. Thanks, baby.

My hair is now red, and I’ve strained a shoulder giving my sons simultaneous piggy-back rides. Yes, all 60lbs of them, at the same time. Who knew?

I’m driving a Kia, to replace the totaled Highlander. It’s not quite as fancy, but it’s quite lovely and serviceable. I spent 5 hours at the DMV the other day only to be told we were missing ONE form. ARgh. Stupid Texas title. 

WordPress has been updated, and I can’t find the “more” tag, so you’re going to be reading one long post.

I am working on many paintings. I am searching for a cute down vest. I am alive and well. Happy almost Valentines Day!

Newest project

I’m very excited about my newest project. I bought a pair of knock off chuck taylors, and spent 10 minutes with very sharp scissors and my favorite pair of eyebrow tweezers ripping out the only visible logo. While my friend Molly talked to me, I scoured my new Mucha book for inspiration, to come up with a plan.

Here is my plan. I am making a pair of Alphonse Mucha inspired electric blue sneakers. I sketched out the shoes briefly, and I think I am going to start painting them tonight. If you don’t know who Mucha is, he is this guy:

They are going to be awesome. Just you wait.

It was a good weekend, and unseasonably warm which means that we could take the kids outside to play. Until Sunday, when the temp dropped like a rock and I almost froze to death because I was wearing thin work out pants and not a coat. Super fun. My in laws were in town for the conference so we got to eat Jack stack and a bag of desserts from Dean and Deluca. A bag. I’m having a hard time writing a coherent update for you, mostly because my stomach thinks it needs more food, and it does NOT.

I managed to get my self out of bed to go to the gym this morning, and even finished every work out I’d set for myself. This is a big deal, as I often leave feeling like I wussed out.

I may dye my hair. Wow. Maybe I had too much coffee this morning and now my brain is melting?