First Look at Baby #3

Today fried chicken is the best thing ever. I feel a little queasy, but it’s like having a pit in my stomach all the time. It’s manageable.

Yesterday I got the see the tiny bean! In this picture, I am pointing to the head end, and then it curves back to where there will be legs soon! You can’t hear the heart beat this early, but I sure could see it fluttering! Great heart tones and all. That’s my baby! Modern medicine is really amazing. And baby really does look exactly like a lima bean right now, at 7.5 weeks. I swear he/she waved an arm nubbin at me. Or maybe it was a tail flick?

But all is well, and we confirmed my due date is December 26th. With my insurance deductible starting over on January 1st, it’s pretty imperative I get this kid birthed in 2012. Please pray for me, as Aaron and I are looking at the finances and trusting yet again that the Lord will pull us through.

He is a good provider. The best provider, and I’m so glad He has a plan.

In other news, Caden and Riker, when asked if they’d like a baby brother, or sister, vaccilate between saying “no thank you” and “baby sister” and “baby brother.” So who knows, at this point.


Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day was just lovely. I awoke to my screaming children, as I do every day, and remind myself that at least I’m not the one who has to blast out of bed to attend them. Aaron does that, for which I am exceedingly grateful, over and over.

Aaron brought me three flowers this year, lovely orange roses that I love. The boys don’t quite understand how to sniff a flower, though they gave it a good shot.

We packed up the boys and took them over to Loose Park, which has all the cool toys. I even convinced them it would be fun to run through the botanical gardens and look at the fountain. Caden was enthused, right up to the point when he realized he couldn’t actually touch any of the water. Tres disappointment for the Squeaker. Continue reading

Night Lights

Last night, the unthinkable happened. The night light in the boys room stopped working. I knew this was happening, because Caden sensed something was not right in his Universe. He let me know it was so, by saying, “oh no mommy! oh no!” and moaning. I went in, tried to fix the night light. No dice. I tried to plug in a lamp and hide it behind the dresser so it wasn’t so bright. Caden cried out, “that one! that one! that one!” while pointing to the two dead night lights on the dresser. I unplugged the lamp, and tried to fix one of our old night lights.

Caden, who’s beside himself despite my best efforts, keeps saying “yay mommy, you did it!” every time I tried to show him that it was broken. He’s very optimistic, even over broken lights. Continue reading


A bevy of helpful friends have pointed out that with every subsequent child, you “show” earlier. This is not helpful advice. At this rate, if I have another kid, I’ll be showing a month before I’m pregnant.

Maybe I’ll find out it’s twins, and then I won’t have to feel bad about the fact that I’m 5 weeks pregnant and my work-pants are already too tight. I associate the feeling of tight pants with failure. So it’s time to change my mental perspective and gear up for 10 months of going “wow, this bump is big.”

I feel more motivated to blog now that I’m pregnant. I have such great records of my pregnancies with the boys, because I was home, and could blog while they slept. Now that I work full time, my nights are for other things. Playing with them, helping Aaron, painting, or my personal favorite, lying on the couch and doing nothing.

I’m a little sick in the mornings this time around, but nothing to write home about. Just a little gross feeling, and then around 11 it passes. Last night I almost put a shiv to Aaron and made him go buy me popcorn because I HAD TO HAVE IT. Instead, he sequestered himself in his darkroom and I ate chips and guac. And also some icecream.

I know I have a long time to figure it out, but I am still debating homebirth vs birth center vs hospital. Here are my lists of initial pros and cons for all of the above.

I lean towards birth center for the following simple reaons: that level of pain needs focus, and I don’t know if I can focus and be near the boys. 2) I don’t want to clean up after that. 3) I don’t want to be woken up every 2 hours at the hospital.

I lean towards homebirth: it’s my own stuff, and I don’t have to labor in the car. I can sleep in my own bed. Birth tub.

Hospital: One word. Anethesiologist. I will not make it through another labor like Riker’s without an epidural. I just can’t do that level of pain for that long. I am a little afraid to not have ready access to drugs. I felt a little alone last time, in my pain management. I’m sure I wasn’t. I’m sure there were people there who wanted to help, but I didn’t feel helped much, honestly. The hospital transfer threw everything and everyone out of whack. Midwives had to defer to doctors, I had to be on monitors, it’s a long story. By that time I was so desperate for sleep I didn’t know what to do, I was progressing so slowly and being on my back on monitors was THE WORST.

I have not forgotten the pain. I’m also trying not to focus on it too much. I have a long way to go until then, and I’m sure it will work out.

First prenatal appointment is tomorrow, even though I’ve not yet decided on midwives or where to give birth. This is my third rodeo, I don’t need to over think it just yet.

Countdown to baby: 242 days.

You’ll Never Guess!

One of my favorite things about this blog is the ability to go back and read my own excitement over big life things, like, you’ll never guess, new baby!


We are very excited to welcome this new little one. Of course, everyone we know is holding their breath to see if it’s a girl, or another fantastic boy. It would definitely be fun to see what a little girl would be like, but I love me some boys too. I have to admit, I’ll be waiting with baited breath for my mid pregnancy ultrasound. I will be ingesting snickers and a coke as I go into guarantee no one hides their bits from the camera!

I was so excited to get that positive pregnancy test, and I got a really early positive, which was fun. I showed it to Aaron as he was making breakfast for the boys, and we squeed! Babies are just the best.

So far I’m not feeling morning sickness worth writing home about. Just a little yuck in the mornings and evenings. Not even enough to slow me down from eating, which is great. I’m praying it continues that way!

My friend Char posted a comment on facebook when I shared the picture of the test, saying “congrats, being 5 is the best.” That’s when I realized- wow. There are going to be five of us!

Next Baby James is due end of December First week of January!

I think I need a mini van.

The Biggest Blog Cliche

When you often go a long time between blog posts, it’s easy to fall into the worlds largest blog cliche: blogging about how long it’s been since you’ve blogged.

I’m not going to do that. One simple look at the calendar can tell you, it’s been a long time.

Work has been workish. I work, then I come home and make my lunch and go to sleep. At that point, I get up and work again. It’s a paycheck I’m very thankful for.

I should be painting right now, as I have many projects loaded up and need to get them finished. But I feel lazy and can’t stop myself from laying on my couch and playing Draw Something until my fingers bleed.

I often wonder what it would be like if we shut down every device in this house. The tv, computer, ipad, phones, for just one day.

Dante described the capital of Hell as this: Pandemonium; a place with so much chaos and screaming that it crippled you.

That’s what my house would be like if we shut down the electronics.

Things are really happening for the James family. Like always, we make a significant decision in our lives, and doors fly open like the cabinet scene from the Sixth Sense. It’s thrilling and terrifying all at once. We are taking baby steps, trying not to freak out on each other, and breathing as often as we can remember how.

I spent today watching my sons scoop water out of a plastic pool and pour it on a) the concrete b)the bushes c)themselves d) eachother and e)me. All of the above was precious and wonderful. I can hardly believe how big they are getting. I would have taken a picture to show you, but that would mean I’d have to put down my book.

Tomorrow promises for more beautiful, unseasonably warm weather. Perhaps a trip to the park is in order?

Riker turns 2 in not too many weeks. I thought I just had him?

Time flies when you’re having fun.


I sat staring at my computer screen for a few minutes, trying to figure out what to write about. The friend that showed up, only to disappear again? The fact that I find when I have the opportunity to make new friends, the idea exhausts me, because I just want to jump to the part where you know each other so well you can sit side by side at a coffee shop, reading, and still enjoy being together?

The new shoes I got yesterday? How I miss my family every day? The long work weeks, the money stress, the fact that my new phone case is so slippery that my iPhone has basically become a greased up air hockey puck?

Yeah, I don’t know which to talk about either. Continue reading