This is a sentence I often have to say to myself. Be kind, and shut your trap.
I’ve been seriously wounded by some people in the area of friendship, and honestly, there is a part of me that is still grieving. But you know what? There are times that I just need to be more loving, and shut my trap.
When a friend comes to me with stuff they want to talk out, it’s in my nature to verbally process it out loud back to them. Sometimes people need that. Mostly though, people need to be heard, which involves me shutting my trap.
Talking things out to process is kinda my thing. It’s how Aaron and I work through conflict. We say this sentence alot, “So what I hear you saying is *insert repeating stuff back to spouse*.” This allows us to see if the other person is really hearing what we are saying. It usually diverts some arguments.
There are times that I hear people talking about their lives, feelings, passions or whatever and I do feel criticized. My friend Kaitlyn made a lovely and soft-hearted point: It’s not fair to construe someone’s passion as criticism, simply because maybe I’m a tad wounded about what they are speaking on.
Instead of reacting, and using social media to air my grievances, I’m trying to learn to be more loving, and shut my trap. I feel like facebook does give me a lot of exposure to peoples thoughts and words, without really hearing their feelings, or seeing their face. You can not de-value or underestimate the power of looking someone in the eye while they talk to you. Words are so much easier to type than to say.
I’m trying to learn not to react out of pain, and not be so touchy about people “judging” me when really they are just excited about stuff. I’m turning my eyes to the Lord (or trying to), attempting to be more loving, and more often than not, shut my trap.
*disclaimer: this topic has been brewing in my mind for weeks, and is on no way connectedf to any person, place or actual occurence in the last few days. I’m not talking about you, I’m talking about me.
And I love you, and want to hear your heart. *zips lips*