A Different Perspective: Life of a Stay At Home Dad

As a working mom, I’ve been bugging my husband, a stay at home dad of our two boys, to give his perspective. I mean, how many men do you know who stay home and raise their children full time, as opposed to being out in the work place? I only know one full time, stay at home dad. Since I’m married to him, I get to bug him with questions, and share the answers with you.

How did you become a stay at home dad (SAHD)?
I was working at a manufacturing plant, and Jennifer was offered an IT job she’d had before we had our kids. It’s about 50% more money, which made it an offer we couldn’t refuse.

How do you feel about having a wife who is the person in your marriage who “brings home the bacon” ?
We’ve never been very traditional and I have no problem being the one who stays at home. In the process of deciding to make this switch, we both had to decide if we were ok going against the grain. We both love what we do.

Is being a SAHD biblically acceptable?
I believe so. I don’t know of any scripture that states that the Lord is against women working and men staying at home with their children.

What do you like best about being the stay at home parent?
Not having to answer to anyone. If my day is crappy, I have only myself to blame.

What does your day typically look like?
My alarm goes off at 5 every day. I sometimes get up. Usually the boys (Caden, almost 3, and Riker, 15 months)are up at 6:30. I put on a Veggie tales and drink some coffee. We go for a walk/jog, and are home for Sesame Street at 9a. I get the housework done while the kids are enamored with Elmo, and get everyone fed some lunch. While they nap, I eat lunch, work out, and try to sit around for a few minutes. After naps it’s playtime, and maybe another walk. Usually I put on another Veggie tales while I make dinner and then it’s simply a point of surviving until Jennifer gets home.

With a role reversal of this type, you being the SAHD and your wife working, how you maintain a leadership role in your household, and therefore, a healthy marriage?

Um. *laughs* I drink alot. Just kidding. We’ve always had a good partnership in our marriage, and it’s not dependent on who has what job. We communicate well. That’s the key.

Do you have a favorite stay at home dad story?
One day when I was cooking, I heard Riker toddling around by the pantry. A couple minutes later Caden came up asking for a snack. I looked around, unable to find Riker. I heard a few squeaks and some chatter from our walk in pantry. When I investigated Caden had helped him into the pantry and shut the door, and Riker was now standing in the pantry, in the dark, waiting for someone to let him out. He was in their 15 seconds, tops, and was happy as a clam. Go figure.

What would you like to tell other men who are SAHD?
Any social norms that they feel are present out there in the world are fiction. The balance of a household is not necessarily based on what role the man or woman has, but mutual support between spouses. Taking care of children and making sure they have a well balanced upbringing is key.

A great interview with a great guy. I keep telling Aaron he needs to blog more about being the man who raises his children full time. And rumor has it, he thinks my idea is awesome and may be interviewing me about being a mom with a full time job. What a copier. Sheesh.

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About Jennifer James

I'm a full time mom who works full time. I'm a painter, a dreamer, and a believer that the most feminist thing you can do is adore your femininity. I say what I think, when it's appropriate for sharing. I write when I feel like I have something to say. I love always.

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