Are You Hot and Single? So is She.

I have a pretty amazing sister. I’m tall. She’s taller. I’m stuck with hazel eyes, hers turn a different shade of blue and green depending on what she’s wearing. I love the Lord, and came to Kansas City to do an internship to dedicate time to Him. She loves him so much she went even farther, New Zealand, for her internship. (lol.) I cook pretty awesome dinners, she makes bread every Friday (or some day, I don’t know.)

Meghan is just super cool. She’s waaaay smarter than I am (she got a calculus book for Christmas, so she could do calc problems ‘for fun.’). I am a pretty good artist, she’s amazing, and is about to show 16 of her pieces at a very swanky restaraunt.

Recently I tried to auction Meghan off on Jackson Bohlenders’ facebook page. It went very well. This got me thinking. I can get wayyyyy more for Meghan than what I was asking for. I mean, what tall, blonde, super in shape girl does this?

So I’m upping the anty.

Here is a list of my sister’s awesome qualities:

She tutors higher level math, she writes, paints professionally, bakes on a regular basis, works out with a trainer, nannies, runs the front of house stuff for a major theatre, speaks elvish, likes Star Trek and classic movies, has nice skin, showers regularly, is a natural blonde (with a little teensy bit of help from the salon), is a ballerina, passionately loves Jesus, sings, takes piano and (at one time) guitar, doesn’t need makeup to leave the house, and owns a bow and arrow and knows how to use it.

Plus she looks like this:

So here’s the skinny, folks. She’s coming to visit next month. I’m setting up dates. We have a strict “you must be 6 feet at least to take this girl out policy”. And love the Lord.

I’m starting the bidding at a herd of unspotted lambs and 6 bags of cumin, plus what the going offer is (see Jackson Bohlenders wall).

I’m not kidding. BIDDING STARTS NOW!

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About Jennifer James

I'm a full time mom who works full time. I'm a painter, a dreamer, and a believer that the most feminist thing you can do is adore your femininity. I say what I think, when it's appropriate for sharing. I write when I feel like I have something to say. I love always.

8 thoughts on “Are You Hot and Single? So is She.

  1. If I bid three old pairs of pointe shoes, a bad of Trader Joe’s Kettle Corn and my LOTR replica costumes can I keep the rights to decide my own future? Or do I have to throw in a box of Dad’s Graham Crackers too?

  2. I bid a herd of unspotted lambs, 7 bags of cumin, a lifetime supply of canvas and paints, a family that will adore her with the love of the Lord – all for a son who does meet the 6′ requirement, loves Jesus with all his heart, and is pretty handsome himself… Portfolio available upon request

  3. I’ll put up a cheap katana, 8 bags of cumin, and a commissioned short story just to have a fighting chance to hang out with her, since I’m sure she’ll be beating off the boys with a stick while she’s here. I hope Megan will deign to have coffee or something with me even though I am short, bad at math, and not a boy.

    • YESSSSS I love meeting people from the internets! I promise not to babble or ask you to be my BFF except maybe once or twice, I am so excited that I am splicing my commas asfd;jkl!

  4. Hahaha…it’s funny how your sister is putting you up for grabs like this.

    In my church (during church camp), our senior pastor actually asked all the single ppl (age range from 25-40) to stand up…so he could “pray” for them 😛

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