We have this really annoying overly used phrase around here. Well not a phrase, it’s a word.
As in, “Wow what a cool season!” or “We are in a transitional season.”
It’s annoying, because it’s overly used, not because it doesn’t make sense. I’m here to tell you today, it’s ok to not like the season you are in. Right now I am going through a lot of emotional stuff as I heal from birth (those hormones do not cleanse themselves out of your system when you push out that baby) and adjust to life with two kids. This is the hardest thing I have ever done, because as a parent of two kids who never eat or sleep at the same time, I am working on really dying to myself. You don’t get a lot of free time as a stay at home nursing mom of two kids under 18 months old.
This is just a season.
My friend Amanda wrote something on my facebook page the other day that gave a lot of women some freedom. She wrote, (and I’m not directly quoting) “I don’t like being a stay at home mom, and doing nothing but dishes, but I love my kids, and I don’t want anyone else to raise them.”
Wow. What a revelation! You can be a mom, without loving sitting at home with two non-verbal kids (or however many you have.)
I’ve been greeting Aaron at the door as he comes home from work every day, crying. Or about to. You try not sleeping more than 1.5 hours at a time, and never getting to eat slowly, and showering at top speed before someone wakes up/needs to eat/starts crying again. It’s really difficult. Oh and in the mean time, do laundry, keep a house somewhat clean so no one gets tetanus, fold those socks and change another diaper.
I went to sleep alone the other night (Aaron stayed up with Riker) and was so excited to be falling asleep without having to monitor pacifier ejection or burping up food or crying that I laid awake for over an hour, so happy was I to be alone with my thoughts.
But you know what? I love my kids. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Wouldn’t trade having them for any amount of sleep or food or time to myself. This is just a season. And sometimes it’s ok to not like the season you are in. I’m asking God for wisdom, and strategy on how to be a better mom, and a saner woman. Until then, I love my kids, and I don’t want anyone else to raise them.
Cleaning the bathrooms on the other hand…someone else can feel free to take a crack at that.