It’s Ok to Not Like Where You Are At

We have this really annoying overly used phrase around here. Well not a phrase, it’s a word.

Season.

As in, “Wow what a cool season!” or “We are in a transitional season.”

It’s annoying, because it’s overly used, not because it doesn’t make sense. I’m here to tell you today, it’s ok to not like the season you are in. Right now I am going through a lot of emotional stuff as I heal from birth (those hormones do not cleanse themselves out of your system when you push out that baby) and adjust to life with two kids. This is the hardest thing I have ever done, because as a parent of two kids who never eat or sleep at the same time, I am working on really dying to myself. You don’t get a lot of free time as a stay at home nursing mom of two kids under 18 months old.

This is just a season.

My friend Amanda wrote something on my facebook page the other day that gave a lot of women some freedom. She wrote, (and I’m not directly quoting) “I don’t like being a stay at home mom, and doing nothing but dishes, but I love my kids, and I don’t want anyone else to raise them.”

Wow. What a revelation! You can be a mom, without loving sitting at home with two non-verbal kids (or however many you have.)

I’ve been greeting Aaron at the door as he comes home from work every day, crying. Or about to. You try not sleeping more than 1.5 hours at a time, and never getting to eat slowly, and showering at top speed before someone wakes up/needs to eat/starts crying again. It’s really difficult. Oh and in the mean time, do laundry, keep a house somewhat clean so no one gets tetanus, fold those socks and change another diaper.

I went to sleep alone the other night (Aaron stayed up with Riker) and was so excited to be falling asleep without having to monitor pacifier ejection or burping up food or crying that I laid awake for over an hour, so happy was I to be alone with my thoughts.

But you know what? I love my kids. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Wouldn’t trade having them for any amount of sleep or food or time to myself. This is just a season. And sometimes it’s ok to not like the season you are in. I’m asking God for wisdom, and strategy on how to be a better mom, and a saner woman. Until then, I love my kids, and I don’t want anyone else to raise them.

Cleaning the bathrooms on the other hand…someone else can feel free to take a crack at that.

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About Jennifer James

I'm a full time mom who works full time. I'm a painter, a dreamer, and a believer that the most feminist thing you can do is adore your femininity. I say what I think, when it's appropriate for sharing. I write when I feel like I have something to say. I love always.

4 thoughts on “It’s Ok to Not Like Where You Are At

  1. I came here through a link on Facebook and I have to tell you, this post is GREAT! As a Mom to 2 older kids, ages 13 and 15, I so remember the season you are in and feeling ‘guilty’ to say I didn’t like it. lol But, I love what you said about not liking all you ‘do’, but loving being a Mom and not wanting anyone else to raise them. Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing….such a blessing! 🙂 And FYI…this WILL pass, I promise! lol

  2. Jennifer,

    Good for you for figuring this out early. You really can survive a ‘season’ if it is God’s purpose and you love the people you are in that season with. I always said that my kids would go to public school. I was anxious for the day that we would walk the three blocks to the elementary school, then I would have hours of ‘Angela’ time. Well, I just received our first packet of homeschool curriculum in the mail. Good thing I love these kids and it is God’s plan, because I’m about to enter a long ‘season’. The wonderful thing is that He is changing my heart to embrace the season!

  3. Thanks for the encouraging words ladies! I just want other moms to realize you don’t have to feel guilt about being in a tough season, but you can lean into your friends, and the Lord!

  4. I have never liked being a stay at home mom and doing housework. BORING! But, like you wisely said, I am not going to let anyone else raise my kiddos either — love them too much for that! Funny thing is, my “season” of babies and such is going on 18 years. I think it is finally going to end and then, SURPRISE, another “season”. (I am laughing as I type this because it is kind of funny!). The Lord is brilliant though in His design to get us where He wants us — not coiled up in the identity of what we do all day, but who we are in Him. That’s my 18 year lesson! Not sure if there are any more surprises coming for me…or what “season” I will be in when this ends (will it ever end??), but I do know I am learning to find Him….even in the dishes. : ) Love you Jennifer — wish I was in a season where we could hang out!! HA!

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