Absolute Gibbering Hysterical FreakOut. But all’s well now.

For the family and close friends and sensitive people that will be reading this let me tell you two things: Caden was in the car for two minutes at the MAXIMUM, and everyone is completely fine!

Now, let me tell you what happened.

Determined to get out of the house to work for even a short stint today, I packed up an unusually fussy baby, my under-caffeinated self (a horrid combo btw) and headed down to the car.

I’m rocking shorts and flip flops today, because it’s 90 degrees outside. You can imagine how hot it was when I opened the car doors to get Caden loaded in. I always open the doors to let the initial blast of hot air out and some coolish breeze in, but it never gets comfie in there until you’ve had the a/c kicked on HIGH for 5 minutes. Plus Caden hates sitting still in an unmoving car.

I docked Cadens infant transport module into the infant transport module's mother ship, and tossed my purse, phone, diaper bag, and KEYS onto the passenger seat, locked the door, and shut it. All on automatic without thinking. The car wasn't on.

Rewind: I locked Caden, my phone, and my car keys in the 100 degree car. Aaron was 20 minutes away at work with the only spare.

I stood there, staring at Caden playing with his blue elephant, and had a full on gibbering hysterical mentally screaming panic attack for precisely 5 seconds. "Oh merciful Jesus rescue me!" I panickedly let out all my air, took a deep, deliberate breath, and made myself stop panicking. Panic wasn't going to get the car open. Neither was a key. I had to get to a phone to find someone who had something better than keys ie a slim jim or the jaws of life or something.... I took 2 seconds to stare longingly at my phone on the passenger seat where I'd left my stupid purse and my stupid keys.

I turned, took a deep breath and hauled like a bat out of you know where for the phone in our buildings foyer. I took the stairs three at a time. Gasping, I asked the office to call 911, explaining I'd locked my baby and my keys and my phone in my very hot car.

As I ran back out (literally not even a minute has elapsed at this point) I can hear Caden crying. Crying because he's angry the car's not moving, not crying because he's hot, but I'm starting to seriously lose it at this point. I go so far as to debate breaking the window with a rock and all the strength my adrenaline pumped P90X arm muscles can muster.

Then it happened, as I lunged for the car and my crying baby, I kicked my keys.

The keys I'd locked in the car.

Totally all-over shaking I unlocked the car, rolled down all the windows, turned the a/c on high and patted Caden, who was very happy and back to playing with Blue Elephant, now that it looked like we'd get underway. He gave me his confused face when he saw I was crying. 2 minutes had elapsed, tops, but it felt like a complete heart-wrenching eternity.

I have no idea how my keys got out of the car. Jesus had mercy.

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About Jennifer James

I'm a full time mom who works full time. I'm a painter, a dreamer, and a believer that the most feminist thing you can do is adore your femininity. I say what I think, when it's appropriate for sharing. I write when I feel like I have something to say. I love always.

7 thoughts on “Absolute Gibbering Hysterical FreakOut. But all’s well now.

  1. I know something like this happens to all moms at some point, but combine that with the day Caden and I were already having (no naps, no contentment, just crying and sadness and fussing) and it was NOT fun.

    I called you today Trac to see if you were busy. I’d like to come see you sometime this week!

  2. Yay for key miracles, but I’m so sorry you had to go through that! When Amanda was about Caden’s age her dad locked her in the car in the parking lot of the grocery store. In Phoenix. In the summer.

    The funny thing is, I don’t even remember how he finally got the door open, but I do remember it was really lucky for him that he was still pale and shaking when he got home and told me the whole story. If he had been calm about it when he got home I don’t think it would have gone well with him!

    My advice: relax, and have a Starbuck’s. This will be a funny story before you know it.

  3. A desperate and heartfelt prayer is answered !!!
    Yea God!!!
    I can still remember the feeling when I locked you in the car at about the same age. Only it was at night in the ( usually) always cool Pacific Northwest!!!

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