Woman Guilt

It’s hard not to feel guilty with yourself when you are surrounded by awesome women. There’s Tracie, who has 6 children, 3 under the age of 3. There’s Anna, who has three kids of her own and more baked goods than the local bakery on Saturday morning, all of them homemade (the baked goods). There’s Jessica, who just moved, is sick, has three kids to wrassle, and still maintains her sense of humor. I could go on and on. I often do.

It’s hard to leap when the bar is raised so high. I could get depressed and think “oh man, I did nothing with my day. I didn’t have to pry anyone off the top of the fridge, I didn’t make challah from scratch, I didn’t shower and get myself absolutely beautiful in two minutes flat while my kids were distracted with granola bars.

I choose a different path. I think it’s important to remember to compare yourself to other people only when it’s helpful, which, ironically, is almost never.

So you cried at work. Big deal! Your feelings are YOUR FEELINGS, and it doesn’t matter if you think they are dumb. They are still valid because they are your feelings!

So you didn’t get mascara on and have your gingham dress pressed and your floors swept when your husband came home. I bet he was glad to see you anyway.

Did you know you’re hot? Yes you. You are so smokin’ unbelievable in your sweats and ratty hair. Who cares that you bought your chocolate cake and then stuck your face in the whole thing? I bet it tastes just as sweet as the home made.

Give yourself a break. Stop it with the woman guilt. Instead of falling asleep tonight thinking of all the things you forgot to do/didn’t do/ignored doing/didn’t feel like accomplishing, think of what you did great today.

I’m not trumpeting some weird hippy look how awesome I am mantra. I want you to be proud of yourself today.

To get your creative “here’s why I’m proud of myself” juices flowing, here’s why I’m proud of myself today:

I didn’t get the bathrooms clean, but I grocery shopped
I didn’t rock the p90x this morning as hard as I could have, but I went jogging tonight
I didn’t have mascara on when I went to work, but I was showered.
I may have only had the energy to lay on the floor while my son crawled on me like a human jungle gym, but I still played with him and showed him I love his face.
I may not have been translated to heaven, but I sat at the feet of Jesus for 45 minutes.
I ate 5 cookies instead of 2, but I made good food choices the whole rest of the day.

My dad once told me that if you go to bed with a yes in your heart towards God, you can call the day a success.

High fives all around.

This entry was posted in Misc by Jennifer James. Bookmark the permalink.

About Jennifer James

I'm a full time mom who works full time. I'm a painter, a dreamer, and a believer that the most feminist thing you can do is adore your femininity. I say what I think, when it's appropriate for sharing. I write when I feel like I have something to say. I love always.

5 thoughts on “Woman Guilt

  1. Jennifer, I love you! And this is only one of the reasons why. I miss your face today, even though I saw you two days ago, and look forward to seeing you tomorrow at some point and Friday as well. It’s just note enough, when our friendship was founded on five-days-a-week-sharing-an-office goodness! Which, in no way is supposed to make you feel guilty or like you are neglecting me, you are not, in any way shape or form. Just wanted you to know I like you enough to miss you! 🙂
    You are a superstar mom. And if I am ever a mom, I hope to be a mom like you!

  2. By the way, we want copies here in the Emerald Isle of those amazing pictures of Caden you posted on facebook!!

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