Thar HE BLOWS!!!

Oh the parenting adventures. How to start this? Let’s just start at the beginning.

Babies poo all the time. It’s been well documented in such books as “Everybody Poops.” Well, at least 3 times a day is normal for Caden, starting with a good push in the morning after his second feeding.

Second feeding passed yesterday with no events to speak of. I went to work. Came home. Asked for my normal coming home update, “when did he eat last? when did he get changed last?” etc.

12 rolled around, then 2, then 4. Still, nothing. This is not good. Our kid blows things out in the best of times….then 7, then 8p, then suddenly, he’s asleep with nary a dirty diaper to be found.

Ever seen Moby Dick?

Ever seen a whales blow hole as they spiritedly shoot water towards the sky? Little boys are like that, at both ends. I don’t know how something pointed down shoots UP, but more often than not Caden at least 4 times a week blows out not only a diaper, but an outfit. So we knew with a constipated Caden, this would not end well.

We spent the morning staring at Caden like he was a ticking time bomb. I changed only wet diapers, and prayed I’d get out of the house before the deluge hit. I went to work, and got this text at around 10a from Aaron.

“O.M.G.” – code, for OH. MY. GOSH.

From Aaron, the man of calm, this was not a good sign. Caden not only blew out the diaper he was wearing, but the outfit and surrounding furniture. Then, he used his new gripping skills to stick his hand in it. Aaron, ever the Saint, got him cleaned up, rediapered, and in a new outfit.

Then Caden blew that diaper and outfit out. Half way up his back.

I was torn between feeling awful for Aaron and feeling glad I missed it. When I picked Caden up when I got home I swear he was about 4 pounds lighter. Right now as I gaze fondly at my lovely son, he’s drooling on his sleeve.

Never let it be said that justeastofwest doesn’t give you the straight talk on the parenting. It isn’t all gerber commercials and baby soft cheeks. Sometimes, it’s poo-splodes.

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About Jennifer James

I'm a full time mom who works full time. I'm a painter, a dreamer, and a believer that the most feminist thing you can do is adore your femininity. I say what I think, when it's appropriate for sharing. I write when I feel like I have something to say. I love always.

4 thoughts on “Thar HE BLOWS!!!

  1. Nate- Which boy? The adult, or the infant? it’s about as likely for either one of them to post, since Aaron often takes weeks to post anything, and Caden can’t sit up to type yet.

    Also- I am so sorry if I gave you a weird look when I saw you the other day. I hadn’t seen you since the beard, and I didn’t recognize you for a second! Unfortunately, in that second it took me to figure out it was you, I felt my face contort into some sort of bizarre expression. I like you! i’m sorry! Oh and I just heard the good news! congrats to you and Katty, parenthood is awesome and you’ll be great ones.

  2. Jen, i was talking about Aaron of course. Just kidding, but seriously.

    No worries about the weird look, most peeps don’t recognize me anymore and I’m not gonna lie, sometimes it feels good to be a complete stranger, know what I mean?

  3. Sounds like an, um, “exciting” day all around. Grace to you both (and the little guy as well!)

    Someday, if/when I have kids, I am totally stealing the term “poo-splode” for my parenting vocabulary.

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