Dialogue

My sister excels at a type of short story where you write only dialogue. After reading another funny story of the same type today, I decided to take a crack at it. My apologies to Jenn Sansom, for sometimes I know not how to properly punctuate dialogue.

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“Have you ever noticed that when a bird gets run over by a car, the body becomes all flattened to the pavement, but the wings still flap freely in the gusts of the passing cars?”

“I guess I’ve never seen a bird that has been run over. How does a bird become roadkill anyway? Can’t they fly away? Isn’t that a perk of being a bird?”

“I would venture to say they become roadkill because they never saw it coming.”

“So, what? You’re going to now turn this into a revealing metaphor about rising above circumstances and overcoming the trials of life?”

” Irritation is really an unattractive look for you. In fact, I had a great metaphor all worked out, but I’m clearly being boring, so I’ll keep it to myself!”

“For some reason I can’t explain…”

“Oh yes, song lyrics! The safety net of the lazy thinker!”

“… What?!”

” You should realize that if you really want to say something, you should try using your own words.”

“Don’t get high and mighty with me. I know where I found you. YOU saw ME standing alone…”

“Agh! You did it again.”

“Did what? Oh. Yes, sorry.”

“Have you ever done this before?”

“No.”

“You’re not very good at it.”

“True. I’ll improve.”

” So what should I say now?”

“I don’t know what to tell you. Console yourself in knowing there wasn’t much of a chance. You never saw it coming.”